World's Smallest Newsletter

June 2007

"The trouble is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired." - Milton Bearle

When feuding Bette Davis and Joan Crawford made the movie, "Baby Jane", Bette had a Coke machine installed on the set, due to Joan's affiliation with Pepsi at the time.

More circus deaths are caused by elephants than big cats.

Jay Leno's 5th grade teacher wrote on his report card, "If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd no doubt be a big star."

"Deja Moo" - The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

A Wisconsin man photographed three albino deer all at once. Odds against this are 79 billion to one.

There are 68,894 people in the cast of "Around the World in Eighty Days."

A koala bear goes into a restaurant, eats dinner, gets up, shoots the maitre' d and walks out. The owner runs after him and ask, "Why did you do that?" Koala replies, "Look in the dictionary." Sure enough, it says, "An Australian marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

"Second string" (backup) comes from the Middle Ages when archers always carried a second string for their bow in case the one on it broke.

Single jump world record for a frog was by Ex-Lax - 17feet, 6 inches.

A Texas political candidate said, "He should be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm the one to do it."

American tourist in South America attacked by killer bees, took refuge by diving into the Amazon River, where he was devoured by piranha fish.

Church bulletin gem: "The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to conflict."

"When you're swimming in a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray."

In the movie "Some Lit It Hot", Marilyn Monroe required 59 takes in a scene where the only line she had was, "Where's the bourbon?"

Women should not have children after 35. Really, 35 children are enough!

If you watch the game, it's fun. If you play it, it's called recreation. If you work at it, its golf. - Bob Hope

Isn't it about time you offered your video on DVD? Check the current pricing on the classic "Retail-Ready" DVD package with full color inserts.

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